DARVO – Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender

DARVO is a defence mechanism used by individuals accused of wrongdoing and avoids accountability by shifting the blame back onto their accusers. In this pattern of behaviour, the person denies any wrongdoing, attacks the credibility of the accuser, and then accuses the accuser of being the real offender. Essentially, the accused person turns the tables and portrays themselves as the victim while painting the actual victim as the aggressor.

DARVO can be used in a wide range of contexts, including interpersonal relationships, workplaces, and legal proceedings. It is important to recognise this pattern of behaviour and be cautious of individuals who employ DARVO, as it can be manipulative and harmful to the actual victims of wrongdoing.

The term DARVO was coined by psychologist Jennifer Freyd in her 1997 paper “Violations of Power, Adaptive Blindness, and Betrayal Trauma Theory.” In the paper, Freyd describes DARVO as a common pattern of behaviour in which individuals who are accused of wrongdoing deny their actions, attack the credibility of their accuser, and reverse the roles of victim and offender.

Since its introduction, the concept of DARVO has gained significant attention in the fields of psychology and trauma research and has been used to describe a wide range of behaviours in which individuals seek to avoid accountability for their actions.

How common is DARVO?

It’s difficult to determine exactly how common DARVO is, as it’s a behaviour that often goes unreported or unrecognised. However, research has shown that defence mechanisms like DARVO are fairly common, particularly in response to accusations of wrongdoing.

For example, a 2017 study published in the Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma found that individuals who were accused of domestic violence were more likely to use DARVO as a defence mechanism. Another study published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that college students who were accused of sexual assault were more likely to use DARVO in response to the accusations.

Some mental illnesses, such as personality disorders, may be associated with a higher likelihood of exhibiting manipulative and deceitful behaviour. However, it’s important to avoid stigmatising individuals with mental illness, as the vast majority of people with mental health conditions do not exhibit manipulative behaviour, and people without mental illness may also exhibit manipulative behaviour.

Not everyone who is accused of wrongdoing will use DARVO as a defence mechanism. However, when it does occur, it can be a harmful and manipulative behaviour that can have significant impacts on the victim’s emotional and psychological well-being. It’s important to recognise these patterns of behaviour and address them in a healthy and constructive way.

What are some examples of DARVO?

Here are a few generalised examples of DARVO in action:

• An employee is accused of harassing a coworker: Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, the employee denies the accusation, attacks the credibility of the coworker by suggesting they are lying or exaggerating, and then accuses the coworker of being the real problem because they are “overly sensitive” or “can’t take a joke.”
• A politician is accused of engaging in corrupt activities: Rather than addressing the accusations directly, the politician denies any wrongdoing, attacks the credibility of the accusers or the media, and then accuses them of having a political or personal vendetta against them.
• A parent is confronted about verbally abusing their child: The parent denies the accusation, attacks the child by suggesting they are disrespectful or disobedient, and then accuses the child of being the one who is causing problems or being “too sensitive.

In each of these examples, the accused party denies any wrongdoing, attacks the credibility of the accuser or victim, and then accuses the accuser or victim of being the real problem. This can be a way for individuals to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and shift blame onto others.

Now let’s take a look at some famous examples of DARVO in action:

• Bill Clinton: When former White House intern Monica Lewinsky accused Bill Clinton of sexual harassment and perjury, he initially denied the allegations and attacked Lewinsky’s credibility. He later admitted to having a sexual relationship with Lewinsky, but continued to deny that it was harassment or that he had committed perjury.
• Harvey Weinstein: When dozens of women came forward to accuse Harvey Weinstein of sexual assault and harassment, he denied the allegations and attacked the credibility of his accusers. He also claimed that he was being unfairly targeted by the media and suggested that his behaviour was common in the entertainment industry.
• Donald Trump: When several women accused Donald Trump of sexual assault and harassment during his presidential campaign, he denied the allegations and attacked the credibility of his accusers. He also suggested that the accusations were part of a political conspiracy against him.
• Brett Kavanaugh: When Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh was accused of sexual assault by Christine Blasey Ford during his confirmation hearings, he denied the allegations and attacked Ford’s credibility. He also suggested that the accusations were part of a political conspiracy against him.

These are just a few examples of high-profile individuals who have used DARVO in response to accusations of wrongdoing. However, DARVO can occur in many different contexts, including personal relationships, workplace conflicts, and criminal investigations. It’s important to recognise this pattern of behaviour and address it in a healthy and constructive way.

Is DARVO the same as gaslighting?

DARVO and gaslighting are related concepts, but they are not the same thing. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which an abuser manipulates their victim into doubting their own perception of reality. This can involve denying or distorting facts, questioning the victim’s memory or sanity, and creating a sense of confusion and self-doubt.

DARVO, on the other hand, is a specific defence mechanism that can be used by individuals who are accused of wrongdoing. It involves denying responsibility, attacking the credibility of the accuser, and reversing the roles of victim and offender.

While DARVO can be a component of gaslighting, it’s not the only tactic that gaslighters use. Gaslighting can involve a wide range of manipulative behaviours, including DARVO, but it can also include other tactics such as projection, blame-shifting, and minimising. Both DARVO and gaslighting are harmful behaviours that can have a significant impact on the victim’s emotional and psychological well-being.

What effect does DARVO have on the victim?

DARVO can have a significant impact on the victim of the behaviour. Here are some effects that the victim may experience:

• Doubt and confusion: The victim may begin to question their own perceptions and memories of the events in question, especially if the person using DARVO is convincing in their denials and attacks.
• Guilt and shame: The victim may feel guilty and ashamed for speaking out and may even begin to blame themselves for the situation.
• Fear and intimidation: The victim may feel intimidated and afraid of the person using DARVO, especially if they feel like they’re being attacked and threatened.
• Emotional distress: The victim may experience significant emotional distress, such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
• Self-doubt and low self-esteem: The victim may start to question their own worth and value as a person, especially if they feel like their voice is not being heard or their experiences are being dismissed.

It’s important to recognise that DARVO is a form of emotional manipulation and abuse, and victims may need support and resources to help them cope with the emotional fallout of this behaviour. Seeking the help of a mental health professional or joining a support group can be beneficial in dealing with the effects of DARVO.

How can you respond to someone who is using DARVO against you?

If someone is using DARVO against you, it can be difficult to address the situation effectively. Here are some strategies that you can try:

• Name the behaviour: Point out to the person that they are denying responsibility, attacking your credibility, and reversing the roles of victim and offender. This can help to shift the focus back to their behaviour and away from the accusations they are making against you.
• Stick to the facts: Avoid getting defensive or emotional and focus on the specific behaviour or action that led to the accusation. Provide evidence if possible, and avoid engaging in personal attacks or making sweeping statements.
• Set boundaries: If the person continues to use DARVO or becomes hostile or aggressive, it may be necessary to disengage from the conversation or situation. You can set boundaries by calmly stating your position and expressing a desire to end the conversation or interaction.
• Seek support: It can be helpful to talk to someone you trust about the situation and get their perspective. This can provide validation and help you to feel more confident in addressing the behaviour.
• Seek professional help: If the person’s behaviour is causing significant harm or you feel unsafe, consider seeking help from a mental health professional, legal advocate, or law enforcement.

It’s important to remember that DARVO can be a manipulative and harmful behaviour, and it’s not your fault if someone uses it against you. By staying calm, focused, and assertive, you can work to address the situation in a healthy and constructive way.