Hidden in Plain Sight – Understanding Coercive Control

What is coercive control?

Coercive control refers to a pattern of behaviour that seeks to dominate and control another person through the use of various tactics, such as isolation, intimidation, financial control, and emotional abuse. In Australia, coercive control is recognised as a form of domestic and family violence and is a criminal offence in some states and territories. It involves a range of behaviours that harm the victim’s autonomy, freedom, and dignity and can have severe and long-lasting consequences on their physical and mental health.

Coercive control can take many forms, and the specific behaviours used to exert control over another person may vary depending on the abuser’s tactics and the victim’s vulnerabilities. Some examples of behaviours that may be seen in coercive control include:

• Isolation: The victim is isolated from friends, family, and other support networks.
• Monitoring: The abuser monitors the victim’s movements and activities, including their phone and computer use. 
• Deprivation: The victim is deprived of basic needs, such as food, water, and sleep.
• Intimidation: The abuser uses threats, intimidation, and fear to control the victim.
• Emotional abuse: The abuser uses emotional abuse to control the victim, such as name-calling, belittling, and humiliation.
• Financial abuse: The abuser controls the victim’s finances, such as limiting their access to money or preventing them from working.
• Dominance: The abuser exerts power and control over the victim, making all the major decisions in the relationship.
• Sexual coercion: The abuser uses sexual coercion to control the victim, such as forcing them to have sex or engaging in sexual acts they do not want.
• Gaslighting: The abuser manipulates the victim’s perception of reality, causing them to question their own memory, perception, and sanity.
• Threats: The abuser uses threats, such as threats of violence or harm to the victim or their loved ones, to control the victim.
• Enforced isolation: The abuser enforces isolation, such as preventing the victim from leaving the house or seeing other people.
• Stalking: The abuser engages in stalking behaviour, such as following the victim or monitoring their activities without their knowledge or consent.

It’s important to note that these signs can occur in different combinations and with varying degrees of severity, and coercive control can be present even if not all of the signs are present.

Who’s at risk?

Coercive control can happen to anyone, regardless of their gender, age, ethnicity, or socioeconomic background. However, research shows that women are disproportionately affected by this form of abuse, and they are more likely to be victims of domestic violence overall.

There are many factors that can make someone vulnerable to coercive control, including:

• Low self-esteem: People with low self-esteem may be more vulnerable to coercive control because they may be more likely to believe negative messages from their abuser.
• Trauma history: People with a history of trauma, such as childhood abuse or neglect, may be more vulnerable to coercive control because they may have learned to tolerate or accept abusive behaviour.
• Dependence: People who are financially or emotionally dependent on their abuser may be more vulnerable to coercive control because they may feel like they have no other options.
• Isolation: People who are isolated from friends, family, or other support networks may be more vulnerable to coercive control because they may feel like they have nowhere to turn for help.
• Cultural or religious beliefs: People who come from cultures or religions that place a strong emphasis on obedience and submission may be more vulnerable to coercive control.
• Mental health issues: People with mental health issues may be more vulnerable to coercive control because their abuser may use their condition to justify their behaviour or control them further.
• Inexperience: People who have little experience with relationships or have never been in a romantic relationship before may be more vulnerable to coercive control because they may not recognize the signs of abuse or know how to set boundaries.
• Prior history of abuse: People who have experienced abuse in the past may be at increased risk of experiencing coercive control in future relationships.
• Unequal power dynamics: Relationships where one partner has more power than the other may be at increased risk of coercive control.
• Isolation: People who are socially isolated or have limited support networks may be at increased risk of coercive control.
• Financial dependence: People who are financially dependent on their partner may be at increased risk of coercive control.
• Mental health issues: People with mental health issues may be at increased risk of coercive control, as the abuser may use their condition to justify their behaviour or control them further.

It’s important to note that being vulnerable to coercive control is not the victim’s fault, and no one deserves to be abused. The responsibility for abusive behaviour lies solely with the abuser.

Verbal abuse

Verbal abuse is a common tactic used in coercive control. Verbal abuse involves using language to control, belittle, demean, or intimidate the victim. Some examples of verbal abuse include:

• Name-calling: The abuser may call the victim derogatory names or insults to make them feel small or inferior.
• Threats: The abuser may use threats of physical harm, emotional harm, or financial harm to control the victim’s behaviour.
• Yelling or screaming: The abuser may raise their voice or yell at the victim to intimidate them and make them feel powerless.
• Gaslighting: The abuser may use gaslighting techniques to make the victim doubt their own perceptions or sanity, making it easier to control them.
• Constant criticism: The abuser may constantly criticise the victim, their appearance, their abilities, or their decisions, to make them feel worthless and helpless.
• Control of communication: The abuser may restrict the victim’s access to communication or use communication to control and manipulate the victim. For example, they may limit the victim’s access to a phone or the internet, monitor their communication, or insist on being present during conversations.

Verbal abuse can have a profound effect on the victim’s mental and emotional well-being. It can erode their self-esteem, make them feel isolated and alone, and leave them feeling powerless to change their situation. It’s essential to recognize the signs of verbal abuse and seek help if you or someone you know is experiencing it.

How do you prove coercive control?

Proving coercive control in Australia can be challenging because it often involves a pattern of behaviour over an extended period, and the evidence may be mostly circumstantial. However, some of the ways to demonstrate coercive control include:

• Documentation: Keep a record of the abuser’s behaviour, including dates, times, and details of what happened. This can include keeping copies of messages, emails, and other forms of communication.
• Witness statements: Collect statements from witnesses who have observed the abuser’s behaviour towards the victim. This can include family members, friends, and professionals who have worked with the victim.
• Expert testimony: Expert testimony from psychologists, social workers, or other professionals can help establish the pattern of behaviour that constitutes coercive control.
• Medical records: Medical records can show evidence of physical or mental harm that has resulted from the abuse.
• Police reports: If the victim has reported incidents of abuse to the police, these reports can be used as evidence.

It’s strongly recommended that you work with a qualified legal professional with experience in handling cases of domestic violence to help you navigate the legal system and gather the necessary evidence to prove coercive control. In Australia, coercive control is recognised as a form of domestic violence, and if proven, can result in criminal charges and penalties.